Why does my baby cry when I lay them in the crib?
Hey everyone!
We’ve all been there before. It’s near the end of our baby’s wake window, and we’ve given them a little feed or snuggle to help them fall asleep. Yep, they are OUT. Time for us to take a little reprieve. Whew.
We slowly walk towards the bassinet or crib, gently placing baby onto the mattress. Suddenly, BOOM. Baby is awake again. What the heck did we do wrong? Is there some sort of jolt button under the mattress that no one mentioned? Is the bed cursed? Are we?
Let me introduce you to two terms that changed my understanding of how to lay my baby down to sleep: Moro Reflex and Startle Reflex.
I may have just changed your life.
The Moro Reflex is the sensation of falling. This is specific to babies up to 4-10 months. What is happening is that, when we go to “gently” lay baby down in the crib, we often lay them horizontally (flat) onto their back. This triggers that Moro Reflex, causing baby to wake and fuss. And it will be triggered even if you are supporting baby well.
What can you do to prevent the Moro Reflex from triggering?
Ensure that the crib is at the right height. You don’t want it so low that you cannot reach the mattress properly and have to lay baby down horizontally. However, make it low enough that baby cannot get their head above the height of the crib, as most of their weight is in their head and they can tumble out.
Use an incline position when you are lowering baby into the crib (holding baby with one hand supporting the head and neck, and the other supporting baby’s bum). Practicing this incline motion with baby during the day will also help them get used to the sensation.
Lay baby into the crib in the order of feet, back, bum, head. This helps prevent that feeling of falling and will prevent unnecessary wakings … and having to attempt putting baby down for a nap all over again.
Then there’s the Startle Reflex. It is exactly what it sounds like. The Startle Reflex causes a newborn to startle easily, especially in their sleep, and sticks around until baby reaches about 12 weeks of age. This is because baby hasn’t yet developed partial paralysis, which prevents them from acting out their dreams.
What can we do to calm the Startle Reflex?
Use a swaddle for night sleep. Swaddles provide that snugness that baby felt in the womb, and they prevent baby’s arms and legs from shooting out in all directions when the body tries to allow baby to act out their dreams. Less startling means less unnecessary wakings.
Don’t use the swaddle all of the time. (I know, I’m making you feel crazy). Swaddles are helpful for night sleep, but one thing that will help baby with the Startle Reflex is getting used to the sensation of it. If baby is getting stuck in cycles of overtiredness, no problem - break out that swaddle for a nap. But try not to let baby rely on it for all sleep either.
Are you more of a visual person? See my demonstrations using these tips on an actual newborn.
And there you have it! Those are my tips for reducing that crying when baby is laid into the crib.
Sleep sweetly,
Anna